Weight & Measurements Update!

I forgot to document this but, the week before the marathon, I reached the mark of losing 65 lbs.!!!!  I also did my measurements and I've lost a total of 40 3/4'' all over!

St. George Marathon 2013 - PART 2 (Catching the bus & starting the race)

While I was asleep, I had a dream that my alarms never went off and I missed my ride and didn't get to get on the bus and do the race.  This has been a reoccurring dream of mine and something I was very afraid of.  So, I suddenly awoke and I know that was because of Heavenly Father.  I went to check my phone, afraid that I really had missed the race, to find that my phone was frozen on 11:38pm!!!!!  It was actually 2:00am.  If I had not be woken up, my alarms really would not have gone off!  I would've missed the race!  So, I got up and restarted my phone.  I double-checked the alarms and they were still set so, I went back to sleep.  Then, an hour later, at 3:00am, my alarms went off!  I only had to hear one to actually get up.  So, I turned off the other 4.  Amber and Brian weren't picking me up until 4:30am but, I wanted to have PLENTY of time to get ready and just be relaxed.  I had already laid out my clothes, etc. and knew exactly what I would be eating for breakfast.  So, I started my getting my running top and shorts on first.  Then I wandered for a minute.  Then, I began the prep work for my feet.  I first put on the cream to prevent blisters on my feet from forming (a lot of good that did)!  Then, I put some mole skin on an area of my heel that has recently been getting some nasty blisters (that created worse problems).  After I finished that, I started putting on my compression socks.  I do NOT enjoy putting compression socks on!  Those things are TOUGH!!!!  I finally got them on and comfortable.  Then, I put my shoes on, very careful to lace them just right.  After I was dressed, I went out the kitchen to get my oatmeal going.  I was trying to be as quiet as possible, because my parents were sleeping in the living room.  Once my oatmeal was done cooking, I set it out to cool, while I did my hair.  By the way, I seriously love oatmeal!  So, I did my hair and then I went out and got my oatmeal.  Again, being careful not to wake my parents, I brought the oatmeal into my bedroom to eat.  Mike sleeps VERY heavily, so I didn't worry about waking him up.  So, I sat myself down at my computer desk, ate my oatmeal, and played a little Candy Crush, yes I did!!!!  By that time, it was 3:50am.  I still had time, had brushed my teeth after breakfast, had my stuff ready to go....or so I thought.  So, I played a little bit more Candy Crush.  I wasn't nervous during all of this.  Just excited and ancy to get going!  It was about 4:20am, when I realized I hadn't gotten my water bottle ready, didn't have my pre-workout drink ready and packed, and didn't have enough ibuprofen.  So, I scurried around to get it ready.  It was about 4:28am, when I heard Jocelyn outside.  A minute later, I heard the Blair's pull up.  So, I ran around, got my jackets (it was DANG COLD), grabbed my bag of crap, said a tearful goodbye to my parents, and headed out the door!

Our next stop was to stop by the Sheffield's, because they were following us to where we were going to park, to load the bus.  We got down there around 4:45am.  We found our bus and got on it.  I remember our bus being #66 and thought, OH NO!!!!  So, we found our seats towards the back.  Travis decided he needed to use the bathroom before we took off.  So, we were sitting and chatting when the bus driver starts the bus.  We all looked at Amber, thinking "Where is Travis!"  She calmly said, "They just have to start the bus, to warm it up."  Not a minute later, the bus driver closes the door and drives off, without Travis.  I remember thinking, "Oh crap!!!"  Amber was very calm though and put out her pouty lip, being cute, and then we all kind of giggled and said "Oh well!"  We knew he'd be able to catch another bus up, it was just weird leaving without him.  On the flip side, according to Travis, he came back from using the bathroom and got on the bus that was first in line, like the one we got on in the first place.  He said there was a line to get on but, he assured them he already had a seat on the bus with his wife and friends.  So, they let him on.  Well, he got to where our seat was and didn't see us.  He thought we were playing a funny trick on him.  Then, he realized it was not the same bus and we were gone.  So, he sat to a really nice guy and met us up there!

The bus ride up was not nearly as long as I thought it would be.  Maybe because it was dark, maybe because we were having a good time chatting and laughing, maybe because I expected it to be longer, and maybe because I was nervous and didn't want to quite be there yet.  One huge positive was that I didn't throw up on the bus!  The last time I had to take a bus to the starting line, I threw up because I was so nervous.  This time, I was calm the whole time except for one small spot.  Then I was able to breathe through it and it was ok.  After a while, Jocelyn pointed out to me that she could see the big spot lights that swarm around the sky, where a big event is taking place.  Sure enough, I looked outside and there they were.  That meant we were close.  My heart started to beat pretty fast and pretty heavy!  Then, a short time later, we pulled into the parking lot where the starting line was (in Central, UT)!  The scene was AMAZING!!!!  Runners EVERYWHERE!!!!!  It was so exciting to look out the window of the bus, to see the scene in front of me!

 As I stepped off the bus, the first thing I remember thinking was, "Holy crap, it is COLD!!!"  I don't know the exact temperatures of the starting line but, I do know that they were in the low 30's!  You add the wind that was up there and it was COLD!!!  As we walked toward the corals, bonfires, and the starting line, I first looked at all the flags blowing in the wind!  They had a flag to represent every country that had someone running in the marathon.  From the United States there were 49 states represented, with Maine being the only state without a runner there.  They must've been too busy catching crabs or fish or something, ha ha!  There were 9 countries being represented.  The first thing we did was head to the porta-potties.  We did this first because the lines aren't as long as they would be right before we lined up to start the race.  I got inside the porta-potty and I wanted to just stay in there, until the race started, because it was warmer in there!  After we finished in the bathrooms, we headed over to find a bonfire.
 They were all pretty well surrounded so, we just found what warmth we could.  Jocelyn and I both had hand warmers so, we popped those out.  They didn't get near as warm as I remember them being and didn't give much relief.  After a bit, Jocelyn and I walked over to the aid station to fill up her water bottle.  As we started to walk, I could feel how tight the muscles in my legs had gotten, from standing in the cold.  It made me nervous and glad to be walking around.  After Jocelyn filled up her water bottle, we headed back to the fire. On our way back, I ran into JJ and Brittney Farmer, who have been AMAZING in helping me in so many ways!  It was SO GOOD to run into them and get a little last encouragement from them. When we got back to the fire, I started to get my gear and pre-race stuff going.  I put on my running pack, made sure I had all my fuel packets, ibuprofen, salt pills, and leg pills inside.  Then I made sure my water bottle was still full, including my inhaler tucked into the pouch.  Then, I went ahead and drank my pre-race/workout drink.  I began to really feel jittery after that because the time was drawing closer.  Soon after this, they announced it was time to line up in the corals.

Lining up was something I've been pondering about for months.  People generally line up according to when they plan to finish the race.  Along the race, there are pacers.  The pacers are runners who lead runners in an event, to ensure they finish in a specific time.  The first pacer would help the runners around him/her finish in a time of 3:05 and every 10 min after that (spreading out to 30 min.) up until 5:30.  This year they also added a pacer (they called him "The Sweeper") that would help the last runners to reach the cut-off point (Snow Canyon Pkwy/Bluff St. by 1pm) so that they would not be disqualified from the marathon.  Anyway, back to lining up, I wasn't quite sure what to do.  I could either line up to the pacer with the finishing time I thought I would finish in or scoot up closer.  The reason it was such a concern was because I knew my pace/finishing time would put me very near the disqualification/cut-off time!  You had 6 hrs. and 15 min. to reach the disqualification spot.  That may sound like a long time because, it is!!!!  They based this time off of the gun/start time.  They don't go off the time that you actually START the race.  With SO MANY runners in the corals, it can take even 15-20 minutes before you officially start.  So, my concern was if I lined up in the back, where I thought I would finish, that I wouldn't have enough time to make it past the cut-off spot.  So, I opted to scoot up.  Looking back now, I wish I hadn't done that.  I don't wish I had lined up in the back but, rather lined up closer to my approximate finishing time.  The reason I regret lining up where I was is because mentally it was TOUGH having runners passing me left and right, because obviously their pace was faster than mine.  So, that was discouraging at times.  However, once a couple miles had gone by, everyone had pretty much spread out into groups of people running around the same pace.  So, I wasn't being passed as much and, if I was being passed, it wasn't at such a fast pace.

As we started to line up, we all went our separate ways.  Amber Blair and Brian went up near the 4 hour pacer, or somewhere in there (not quite sure).  Amber and Travis Sheffield headed towards the back somewhere.  They were running at  6:15 pace (or somewhere around there) in honor of a friend/fellow athlete that had been killed in an accident.  I walked with Jocelyn and thought about lining up with her.  I was really nervous to be on my own.  However, after a few minutes of standing with her, I knew it wasn't a good idea because she would be going at a much faster pace than I, as well as those around her.  So, I decided I need to head back, closer to where I would finish.  If I remember right, I lined up by the 4:45 pacer?  Anyway, saying goodbye to Jocelyn brought up all sorts of emotions.  Scared, excited, nervous but, mostly scared!  I started to cry and kind of just freaked a little bit.  Once I found my place in line, I started to calm back down.  At this point, I decided to scan the people around me, and start making friends.  I found a few very nice people who were feeling the same nerves and emotions and that helped and put me at ease.  I then double checked that everything was in check, shoes were tied just right, watch was ready, etc.

So, the gun went off and I could hear the fire engine make its honking sound, to let us know the race had started.  We were at a stand still for at least 5-7 minutes, only moving a few feet at a time.  Then, around the 8 minute mark, since the race had started, people started to run and move faster. It was around 9 minutes past the starting time that I actually and officially crossed the start line.  

St. George Marathon 2013 - PART 1 (Couple days before the race & packet pick-up)

I am posting from the events of the marathon, beginning when my parents came into town. This will be a long journal entry of the marathon experience.  So, I'm going to break it up into parts.

 On Thursday morning, I got a knock at my door.  I opened the door to find Shirley LeBaron, Kris Lambson's Mom.  She said she had a delivery for me, from Kris.  Kris has been a dear, dear friend of mine for a little over a year now.  She was the Relief Society President in our ward and really made an impact on me!  She's really been there for me!  We became friends and really, she's the one of the couple people that helped ignite this marathon/running fire in me.  Last year, for the 2012 St. George Marathon, she was asking for volunteers to help with the first-aid station right before Mile Marker 25.  I thought it would be fun so, I signed up!  Little did I know how much that experience would change my life!  Being part of that and experiencing such a thrilling event really sparked something for me!  I saw runners of ALL shapes, sizes, ages, and walks of life doing the marathon.  I knew that I had NO EXCUSES and I could do a marathon!  That's what started it all for me.  So, I opened up the envelope that Shirley gave me.  Inside I found the necklace, pictured below! I cried and was shaking all over because I was so excited! This necklace means THE WORLD to me!!!!  I wear it with pride because I earned it!  It also means the world to me because it came from Kris!  It was such a thoughtful, kind, generous, and loving thing to do!

 I received another fun surprise that night, right before my parents arrive.  I was sitting on my couch, anxiously waiting for my parents to come when, I heard a knock at my door.  I opened the door and didn't see anyone there.  What I did see was a big bottle of my favorite flavor of gatorade.  It had the cutest ribbon and tie on it!!!!  So, I shut the door and was feeling good inside, that someone would think of me!  Then, another knock at the door came.  I opened the door and again, no one there.  I looked down and nothing was at the door step.  Then, I glanced at the door right before I shut it and noticed I was heart attacked and shoe attacked on my door!  It was SO CUTE and SO FUN!!!

 I teared up because it meant so much that some secret someone(s) were thinking of me like that and did such a fun thing for me!  Seriously, I have the best support group EVER, whether it's through fun acts like this, through phone calls, messages, emails, or whatever.  I AM SO BLESSED!!!!!!

My parents were arriving the night Thursday, October 3rd.  It was so fun for my parents to get here.  We had been looking forward to them coming all year long and the kids were so excited to have them come, as was I!  

The next morning (Friday, October 4th), I headed over to Amber Sheffield's to have her tape up my left knee.  My knee has been weak and painful, the last few long runs I've been on.  She also taped up the arch of my right foot.  A few weeks ago, I made the mistake of not tightening up my right shoe on a long run.  It ended up straining the arch of my foot.  After finishing that up, I headed back to my house, to pick up my parents and Corie.  I wanted to take them on a drive to see the route of the marathon.  We drove up the marathon route.  I only made it a little past 1/2 way and turned around because it was making me anxious.  So, then I drove them to the finish line.  As we got closer, the road was closed off, and we could see the finish line being set up!  I got SO EXCITED inside!!!!  I pictured myself running down that street and crossing the finish line!  I was also feeling quite nervous.  We then headed down to the outlet mall strip.  My Mom had told me that once I lost 60 lbs., she would buy me an outfit.  It turned out that with my brother, Matt, is getting married, and I needed a new outfit for his wedding.  My brother's colors are silver and eggplant purple.  So, we went into Dressbarn to get our outfits.  I tried on a very cute, classy black pencil skirt as well as a short button-sleeve cowlneck sweater in purple.  Then, I got a really pretty silver necklace to wear with it.  The exciting thing is I fit into a size 16 in the bottom and a 14 in the top.  That's SO AWESOME for me!!!!  When I started out I was a 22 top and 24 bottom.  I felt great and really pretty and beautiful!

Following the shopping trip, we stopped and grabbed pizza for lunch.  We got home right before Connor and Rylie got home from school.  Then I changed and headed off to go to the St. George Marathon Expo, to pick up my packet and also go to a clinic.  Arriving at the expo was so fun and I felt giddy, like it was Christmas Eve!  My first stop, going inside, was to go to the First Timer's Clinic.  It was specifically for those who were either doing their first marathon or running the course for the first time.  The room was pretty full.  They talked about the course, gave some interesting facts, and answered questions.  Jocelyn met up with me there.  After that, we headed into to pick up our packets and look at booths.  This is when it really started to feel real to me!  It was exciting to walk into the expo and see so many people, all there for the same reason!  I felt like I had a deer-in-the-headlights-look on my face!  I was in awe!!!!  So, first we went over to get our packets with our bib#'s, etc.  My bib# was 8508.  After that we went and checked out all the booths.  I picked up a really cool St. George Marathon t-shirt and a headband to wear on the day of the marathon.  I also purchased a 26.2 decal to put on my car!  Once we were done, we (Jocelyn, myself, and Amber) went out into the hall way to wait for Brian and the Sheffield's.  We wanted to get a picture with all of us in it.  It was fun to run into some people out there, that I didn't expect to see.  Once all of us were together, we headed outside and got a picture with all of us.

From there I headed back home.  It was around 3:30 when I left.  I got home and confirmed plans with my parents and Mike's parents.  We made plans to meet at The Pasta Factory at 5pm so that I could carb load and eat dinner early enough, so that I could get to bed on time.  I had some time before we left for dinner so, I took advantage of the time and got my clothing retrieval bag filled up with stuff I needed to take the next morning for the marathon.  I also typed up a check-off list so I would make sure I didn't forget anything.  I started to feel a little nervous, anxious, and scared at this point.  The day was going by WAY TOO FAST for me!  Soon, we left for dinner.  Mike was meeting us over there, because he had to be at work until the last minute.  He beat us over there and said it was swamped, which it was.  However, somehow my Father-in-Law wormed his way up to the hostess desk and got our name on the top of the list!  He's THE MAN!  Ha ha!  So, we ate our dinner, blah, blah, blah.  Nothing exciting!  We then headed home and I could really feel that the time was getting a lot closer.  I felt myself get a lot more serious and nervous and anxious.  7:00pm came fast,which was the time I set for myself to go to bed.  It ended up being closer to 8pm.  I had a few more things I needed to prepare, before I went to bed.  I also needed to make sure that I got a blessing from Mike and my Dad.  That was the most important thing.  So, I got in my pajamas, had everything laid out, had 5 alarms set so I would make sure to wake up.  I was ready so, it was time for my blessing.  The blessing was beautiful!  It was very comforting and I knew that my Heavenly Father was very much aware of my thoughts, feelings, and aware of how important this event was to me.  Following the blessing, I said goodnight to everyone one by one.  At this point, I was shaking more than normal, my stomach was in butterflies, and I was teary-eyed.  I felt much like I did, the night before I'm about to have a c-section.  I knew what was coming, it was just the unknown of how it was actually going to go down.  Before I hopped into bed, I said one more prayer for just myself.  I prayed for everything and anything I could think of.  Surprisingly enough, it didn't take much for me to fall asleep.  I was so grateful for that because, I was so concerned I wouldn't be able to sleep and then I'd be exhausted!

Yes, I Am a Runner!

I saw this and loved this!  I took me a long time to say "Yes, I am a runner." without cringing or laughing about it.  Even now, I still sometimes make jokes about it.  My reason is because I don't run as far or as long as a lot of runners do.  One of the most frustrating and even hurtful comments/reactions I have had with some people make me feel like I'm not an actual runner.  Usually it goes something like this: "Hey Laura, I heard you're running the marathon!"  "Yes", I reply!  Then they ask, "Oh my gosh, so you run the entire 26.2 miles?"  I then laugh and say, "Oh no, I run-walk-run-walk"  Then they get this almost defeated/disappointed look on their face and say, "Oh."  Or else they'll say, "Oh, well anyone can just walk the whole thing and be fine."  It makes me feel bad because I have worked and trained my butt off to get to where I am.  I don't consider myself less of a runner or copping out because I don't run the entire thing.  I know that I have improvement to make and mentally don't give myself enough credit with what I'm capable of.  I also know that my body has limits.  I think it's safe to say that a lot of runners out there aren't running with an extra 100+ lbs. on their body than they should have.  It's my own fault that I'm the weight and size I am.  I take full ownership for that.  Give me a break though!  At least I'm out there and trying to better my situation.  So no, I'm not running the entire marathon, straight through.  I do well the first chunk and can run a lot but, by the end it will come down to just keeping my body moving.  It'll be a lot of running .25 and walking .25, just to get my body to the finish line.  But, on a positive note, I can brag that I do have a pretty fast walk!  LOL!

Another Milestone Reached!

Today I hit a new milestone in my journey to lose weight and become healthier!  I can happily and excitedly say that I am officially down 61 lbs. since I started this journey!!!!

The Person Who Starts the Marathon is NOT the Same Person Who Finishes!

I LOVED this and had to post it!  It's interesting as what started out as a bucket-list item has become more than that and has taught me so many things.  I'm definitely NOT the same person I was when I started this journey.  Many things I like about myself and the person I've become.  However, there are also things that I don't like about myself.  Some of the things that need to change, after the marathon is done, is I need to put more focus on my family and my husband.

My family and husband have been the ones who have sacrificed through all of this.  Sometimes it hasn't been a big deal.  During the week, I'm always gone to the gym while everyone is asleep and no one knows I'm gone.  However, on Saturday's, we haven't really done much.  My Saturday's don't just start Saturday morning.  They start Friday, sometimes as early as 8:30pm, because I have to be up at 3:30am or 4:00am.  So, we haven't done any camping, or many weekend get-aways like we usually would because my answer is always, "No, because I have to run Saturday morning."  I knew and they all knew it was part of the process but, it gets old for them after a while, and even for me here and there.  When I get home from run, it's usually anywhere from 9:30am-11am.  When I do get home, I'm EXHAUSTED and sore often.  There are many times that adrenaline is running high and I'm chipper and moving around.  Once it runs out though, I'm wiped out!  I usually take a shower and then head to bed for a few hours to try and rest and get some of my energy.  But, then I get up and I'm stiff as a board and can barely walk.  

The house has been neglected.  I always clean here and there through the week but, not too much because I know that the destroying angel (my kids) will attack my house.  Saturday's have always been my deep-cleaning days because I love going to bed on Saturday nights with a clean house and wake up on Sunday morning to a clean house.  Well, that has not been the case for many months.  I just don't ever have the energy or motivation to do it on Saturday's so, I'm very embarrassed about the way my house looks.

I know that through all of the things I've neglected, I remember most why I did this and what and who I've become because of all of this.  I've become more healthy, I'm losing the weight that is holding me down.  I'm learning to commit and stick with something, and see it through, even if it's the hardest thing I've ever done.  I'm learning about myself and what areas I need to really improve.  I still have a long ways to go on improving myself.  Mentally, I am very weak, and need to be SO MUCH stronger.  That is a process that will go on forever.  Physically, I've gone so far but, nowhere as far as I still have yet to go.  I STILL need to lose another 80-100 lbs. to get to my goal weight.  I don't think about that often because I look at how hard I've worked to lose the 57 lbs. I've lost so far.  To think I have 80-100 lbs. more is EXTREMELY overwhelming to me!  I was hoping and thought I'd for sure lose 10 lbs. a month, which would've put me at nearly 100 lbs. weight loss right now!  Can you imagine?  I think my running performance would be SO MUCH better if I didn't have as much weight on me as I do. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case.  It's frustrating as HECK and makes me cry if I think about it too much.  So, I have to remember where I've been, how far I've come, and be happy with at least that much.  Spiritually, I've realized how much I rely on my Heavenly Father!  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I catch myself praying to Heavenly Father during my long runs.  Sometimes I want to lay down on the road and just cry but, that little voice inside me just tells me to keep moving.  I pray A LOT!!!  None of this has been possibly without the help of my Heavenly Father!

18-Mile Assessment

Yesterday, Amber, Brian, Jocelyn, and I ran HWY 18 again.  Brian and Amber ran 20 miles and Jocelyn and I ran 18 miles.  That put us a couple miles before Veyo hill.  I want to give an honest breakdown of my run so I can learn from it and then not ever repeat it again.  

I woke up the morning of the run but, this time I was simply not in a positive, go-getter mood about it.  In fact, I just DID NOT want to do it!  Normally, when my alarm goes off in the too-wee hours of the morning, I am dragging but, not outright not wanting to do my run.  It's more of a feeling of hating to be awake so early and nervous about the run but, also anxious and ready to get out there and get the run going and see what kind of a run I can have.  Even though I didn't want to do the run yesterday I thought going and doing it was better than not going and skipping out on an important training run.  So, Amber Sheffield kindly dropped all of us off (as well as Autumn Cluff, because her running partner was injured and couldn't run) at our specific spots.  The weather was beautiful, stars everywhere.  I was afraid we'd have rain, thunder, and lightning but, it was fairly clear.  We started our run and everything felt fine.  I felt good, energized, and was running on track.  Then, Veyo hill came and started my speed-walk up the hill.  About 1/2 way up the hill I noticed I was not breathing well and my legs were extremely tired already.  However, I didn't listen to my body and I pushed myself harder, just so I could get that hill over with.  Well, I wasn't quite to the top, didn't have good control of my breathing, and hyperventilated, which then set my asthma into high gear.  And, once I have those things happen, it messes with my stomach and I get pretty sick.  I had my inhaler and took it but, it was too late for that.  By that time, I couldn't run very well because my stomach was flip-flopping all over the place.  I was probably only 3-4 miles into my run.  Then, I threw up.  So, off I kept trudging.  I would try to run but, my body didn't react well to that.  I tried taking my energy chews but, my stomach didn't react well and, I threw up again and one other time after that. Somewhere near mile 6, Amber and Brian caught up with me.  I was SO GRATEFUL to see them.  For some reason, when I'm struggling on the run, it always peps me up to see someone I knew.  So, we stuck together until we hit our 2nd water drop at mile 6 for me & mile 8 for Amber and Brian.  We took a few minutes to have our water and gatorade and breathe.  It was a good break for me.  I even got to see a couple ladies (Heather & Danyelle) that I've made friends with, after seeing them on our Saturday runs multiple times.  We got back on the road.  I stuck with Brian and Amber for maybe 30 seconds and then I had to walk again.  I was walking as fast I could go. I even got to see a tarantula!  I would try running here and there and the usual places that I can run without a problem, I really struggled and fought through.  Just past Diamond Valley, shortly after our 3rd water drop, at our 10 miles, it started to sprinkle.  It felt very good but, I was also worried about having a repeat storm from a few weeks before.  So, I got my butt into gear to outrun/walk the storm.  This was in between Diamond Valley and the Snow Canyon overlook.

By this point, I remember thinking I was SO BURNED OUT for the day!  I even made the weak move of calling my friend Cheryl and asking if she would come get me.  Being the kind of friend she is, she said something to the affect of, "Laura, I would be more than happy to come get you.  You know that that is going to mess up your training though.  You make the choice."  I'll admit that at the time I was mad and ticked off that she would say that.  I didn't want to hear that and I wanted the easy way out.  However, now that I'm in my right mind and can think without emotions, I know that she said and did the right thing for me and what I needed.  So, THANKS Cheryl!  I love you for being frank with me because that's what I needed at that moment.

So, I cried for a few minutes as I continued on.  Then, I got over it and tried to get going as fast as I could do.  I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty but, I was going to do the best that I could do, which wasn't much.  So, I put little goals in my head.  For example:  If you I can make it to the overpass at the Ledges, then you can stop at the overpass and have a break.  Just things like that.  So, I made it there.  I stopped and started to cry some more.  I was SO TIRED and WEAK and my stomach was a mess.  Right then, I heard my phone ringing.  I wasn't going to answer it but, I changed my mind.  On the phone was my friend Brittney.  She wanted to know how my run went for the day.  Once again, being the emotional mess I was, I began bawling and tried to explain how I was feeling.  Brittney calmly, yet sternly, told me that I was GOING TO FINISH!  We talked about how speed wasn't the concern right now.  Right now, we needed to focus on my breathing, getting it under control, and then just finishing as strong as I could.  Just one foot in front of the other.

At around 3 miles left, I rounded the corner and happened to see Kristine Sewell, who goes to church with me.  She was there to pick up her husband, who was also running the marathon route.  I stopped and said hello to her and even kept my composure and didn't cry.  What was even harder for me to do was to not ask for a ride back down to my car.  I wanted to so bad because I was really DONE at this point and just wanted to curl up into fetal position, cry, and then go to sleep, ha ha!  But, I didn't give in, said goodbye, and off I went again.  

My next sign of weakness came when I realized that Brian and Amber would be driving up at any minute, to go pick up our bags from the water drops.  I thought to myself, "Hey!  I know they'll stop and see how I'm doing, and then I'll just hop in there car."  So, I watched for car after car to come.  Finally, I see them and guess what?  No luck for me, they didn't stop.  Ha ha!  Then I thought, "Well, I bet they'll stop for me on their way back down."  So, I continued going.  At about a mile and a half to 2 miles away from the end, I saw them.  Well, they didn't stop.  Instead, true to Brian form, he was waving wildly from the car and woo-hooing, I think!  Ha ha!  I didn't have any woo-hoo in me so, I just waved.  So, of course, I cried some more!  Again though, looking back with a clear mind now, I am SO GLAD they DIDN'T stop because, I would have felt even worse about the run, knowing I was so close and didn't finish.

Shortly after that, my friend Brittney called again.  She wanted to check in, make sure I was ok.  I had just around 3/4 of a mile left, I could see the blinking lights that warn you that a stop light is ahead.  I knew I was close.  I just had to finish.  I was pretty ornery, as you can imagine.  I just kept a going and FINALLY made it to my car.  I opened the car and just kind of fell onto the drivers seat and cried and cried.  An old lady, that was there cleaning the church, came up to me (scared me TO DEATH) and asked if I was ok.  I told her I was, just tired!  She smiled and told me to hang in there.  What a sweet lady!  Then I drug myself up into my seat, cried a minute more, then headed home.  First, I called Brittney back, to let her know I was done.  Then, I called my Dad, to talk him through what happened.  As I was talking to my Dad, I pulled up in the driveway and below is what I saw:

Talk about thoughtful and kind and caring!  Brittney and her husband, JJ, had come over to my house and did this for me!  They even talked to Mike, warned him what kind of run it had been, and just kind of gave him a heads up.  Smart people, ha ha!  So, when I walked in the door, all the kids gave me hugs, told me they loved me.  Next, I saw Mike and he just wrapped his arms around me, told me he loved me, was proud of me, and asked if I was ok?  Then, he proceeded to make me a breakfast that included eggs, turkey-bacon, and toast!  Then, he told me to shower and then head to bed.  Mike was EXACTLY the kind of hubby I needed him to be!  He knew I just needed some space and some rest and I would be ok.  So, I showered and it felt SO GOOD!  Then I climbed into bed and zonked out.  That was around noon.  Next thing you know, I get woken up at 5pm and Mike was taking me on a date!

What I learned from this run is #1:  I cannot use all of my energy on Veyo Hill or I WILL NOT make it the rest of the marathon.  After Veyo Hill, I still have 19-ish miles to go!  I also know I have to make a different game plan.  Since I cannot attack Veyo Hill the way I originally planned, I will have to go slower, which means I have to make up the time in other areas.  So, I need to take advantage of the areas where I am going downhill or feeling good and make sure to run AS MUCH if not ALL of that as I can.  Also, I DESPERATELY need to work on my breathing pattern on Veyo Hill.  I used to struggle in other areas but, am doing so much better.  However, Veyo Hill is a different animal.  I really need to count in 3 out 3, or at least in 2 out 2.  I have to be smart!  I also learn that I CANNOT let my emotions and mind get the best of me or I am for sure done!!!!  I needed this run, as much as I hated it, to happen right now.  I would rather it happen now, then to happen the day of the race and look back with regret and I-shoulda'-coulda'-woulda's forever!  I'm also grateful for the moments of this run where little temptations and obstacles came upon me, that I really had to decide and dig deep to find out what I wanted.  And thank heavens Amber and Brian didn't stop because I think I would've given in!  Ha ha!