It's a Strange Feeling.....

In 2 days, it will be time to sign up for the 2014 St. George Marathon.  It's a strange feeling to not be signing up for it!  It feels like I just signed up for the 2013 marathon!  The excitement of it all is so fun and parts of me are jealous of those signing up.  There are also parts of me that are ok with not signing up and doing it this year!  The main and almost only reason I am not doing it this year is because I need to give my family more of my time this summer!  Last year my family sacrificed a lot so that I could be around for my training runs on Saturdays.  So, we didn't do a lot of camping or Saturday activities because after a run I'd usually be dead to the world the rest of the day.  This year I want to be able to go and do family things and not worry that I got to bed too late or that I'm not in town because I need to be able to do my long run.  Also, mentally, doing the marathon right now scares the crap out of me.  So, this year I will continue to do half marathons and keep my running up.  I'm also getting the breast reduction, which would take out of HUGE CHUNK of the training I would be doing.  However, 2015 I will be coming back to sign up!  I want to do it again to prove to myself that I can do it better and finish stronger!!!!!  I have it in me!

Spectrum 10k 2014

 Everyone lined up at the starting line!

 Kendra and I, right before we lined up to start the race

 (Shannon, Laura, Nancy, Cheryl)

These amazing ladies came to see me do this race!

 Kendra and I, after we had finished the race!

Cruising down Snow Canyon, probably around mile 3.

********

On March 25, 2014, I ran in the Spectrum 10k race.  My goal for this race was to finish in 1:10.  I did this race for the first time last year and finished in 1:28.  Last year I struggled BIG TIME and had to have Amber hold my hand at the end to get me across the finish line.  This year I finished strong and I wasn't in tears!  I felt really good this time!  I love running in Snow Canyon.  #1: It's BEAUTIFUL there!  #2:  It's a lot of downhill so, a lot easier to run on!  We loaded the bus around 7:45 and headed up to the starting line.  When we got off the bus, it was COLD!!!  The win was blowing and it was very chilly!  I was glad to start the race so I could warm up.  The first mile went by FAST!  Then I started to hit the rolling hills and slowed down a bit, but not too bad.  Around mile 4 I started struggling with my breathing.  The wind was blowing against me so, that made it a little harder.  At mile 5, I ran into my friend's Nancy and Cheryl.  They were there waiting for me!  It was perfect timing because I was starting to get winded and discouraged.  However, seeing them gave me an extra boost.  PLUS, they had gotten me a smores topped donut and I wanted it BAD!  So, maybe that gave me the extra push to finish strong.  Once I got to about 5.75 miles in I got really excited because I knew I was very close to the end so, I started to pick up my speed.  Right after mile 6, my calves started to cramp up and get tired so, I had to slow down just a minute.  Then, I could really see the finish line, I saw my sister-in-law (Shannon, and my friend's (Nancy and Cheryl). At that point I picked up my speed, pushed myself, and sprinted to the end!  I felt AWESOME!!!!!  My watch said I finished in 1:13 but, I didn't really believe it because my watch had been off, like usual, so I just didn't trust it.  I was worried it was more around 1:15.  I checked my official time and I finished in 1:13!!!!!!  I am MORE than happy with that time!  I knocked of 15 minutes from my previous time!  That is HUGE for me!!!!

My Favorite Christmas Present

For a long time, I've wanted something that I could hang my race medals on.  Before I found anything, I've been hanging them on one, single push-pin.  Then, one day my friend Jocelyn sent me a link to a place called the York Sign Shop.  They did medal holder boards.  So, I began researching and looking at other places that did them.  However, I kept going back to the York Sign Shop because I just loved the look of theirs.  So, when Christmas rolled around, and my parents asked what I would like, I knew exactly what to tell them.  So, shortly after Christmas I went online and placed an order.  I LOVE the saying/quote that is on the board "Always Earned. Never Given." because it shows that I had to work hard to earn each of those medals and am SO PROUD of each of them!  Each medal has a different story, meaning, and memory behind them and I love that!

I think I have a pretty good start to filling this board up.  6 medals down and 7 more to go, and it will be filled.  I will be earning one of those medals in the Dogtown Half Marathon in February and another one at the Bryce Canyon Half Marathon in July.  So, 5 other races to fill in the other spots!

New Motivation to Lose Weight!

It's not secret that I'm Dolly Parton gone wrong!  I've always been larger than normal in the chest area!  In 7th grade, I was dubbed Dolly Parton and it was NOT a compliment!  A size C in 7th grade is just MEAN!  So, it would be no surprise that I have wanted a reduction for YEARS!!!!!  When Connor was born I was a DDD/E.  After he was born I went to a G and then later to an H.  Well, with all this running, I have had enough of "THE GIRLS!".  On December 17th, 2013, I went in to Dr. Klomp to get a consult and see if I could be approved, as a medical necessity, to have a breast reduction.  Let me tell you, that was one heck of an appointment!  Alllll pride went out the window!  

Then, the waiting game began.  Dr. Klomp had to submit all his findings and pictures (yes pictures, of just the chest area) to my insurance.  Well, I received word on January 3rd that I had been approved for the surgery.  The only bad news was that I had to have it done by January 19th.  #1: There was no way to have the surgery scheduled in that time period.  Dr. Klomp could ask for an extension though.  #2: I had already signed up for a half marathon in Feburary and was planning to run a 10k in March and another half marathon in July.  Given the fact that it's a 6 week recovery time before I could even THINK about running again, I would still have to train and there just wouldn't be the time that I needed.  So, after careful thought and racking my brain, I decided to put a hold to the surgery until July.

There were 2 major factors that factored into this decision.  The biggest and most important factor came from a suggestion that Dr. Klomp had made.  He knows I have been a weight loss journey and knew I still had weight to still lose.  Dr. Klomp suggested I wait until I'm closer to my goal weight.  He said I would be much happier with the result and I would also more likely have the results stick around longer.  If I had it done now, by the time I lost all my weight, the lift they put in would most likely disappear.  Of course, the other factor was my races and having time to train after recovery.

It was a TOUGH decision.  Knowing I'm approved right this minute is SO VERY TEMPTING!  However, I know I will be much happier with myself if I wait another 6 months and get more weight off.  It won't be easy.  I was disappointed when I didn't lose more this last year.  I expected to lose more.  So, I'm feeling overwhelmed and a bit hopeless that I'll lose another 50 lbs. before the surgery.  However, I will and I HAVE to do everything in my power to lose as much as I can.  

Mike is being supportive at helping me.  He cooks most of the dinners because he does SO GOOD at cooking healthy!  Soon I will be switching to 2-a-day workouts every other day!  I am already scheduled for another consultation in June because Dr. Klomp will have to resubmit everything to my insurance again.  However, nothing should change and I should still be approved. 

Crossfit Day #1!

Crossfit has always interested me!  I think it's right up my alley!  The only reason I haven't joined is because of the cost.  It's not cheap, by any means.  Well, Jocelyn joined a crossfit gym near her house.  She said I could get a 3 day trial of it for free.  I keep meaning to go but, it just hasn't happened.  It finally did though, on Thursday.  I got up at 4:40am because the class starts at 5:25/5:30.  I have to drive out to the DMV, which is in Hurricane.

I got there and it was "Active Rest Day".  Which, if you think about it, is an oxymoron!  So, first we did some stretching and used the roller ball to loosen up our muscles.  Then, we laid on our backs, with our hands under our butt and did leg raises to the song "Bring Sally Up".  Every time the song said "Bring Sally Up", we raised our legs.  Whenever the song said, "Bring Sally Down" we put our legs back down.  Man, that got tiring after a while!  So, that was our warm-up workout.

Then came the active part of the workout.  It went like this:

1. Run 400 meters (1/4 of a mile)
2. 150 jump ropes
3. 50 sit-ups
4. Run 400 meters
5. 120 jump ropes
6. 40 sit-ups
7. Run 400 meters
8. 90 jump ropes
9. 30 sit-ups
10. Run 400 meters
11. 60 jump ropes
12. 20 sit-ups
13. run 400 meters
14. 30 jump ropes
15. 10 sit-ups

So, that ended up being 1 1/4 mile run, 450 jump ropes, and 150 sit-ups.  It was a HECK of a workout but, felt SO GOOD!  I was wobbly all day long after that!  I woke up this morning with extremely sore abs (especially directly under my rib cage) and sore calves!  I haven't been this sore in a long time.

Jocelyn is going out of town for a conference.  So, when she gets back, I plan to go back again.  Right now I'm still so unsure of myself and don't know people enough to go alone.

The Struggle

I've been slacking off my workouts BIG TIME!!!!  I haven't quit all together.  I'm just not consistently going.  It kills me.  All I can say is that life's challenges and struggles I am going through are weighing so heavy on me both mentally AND physically!!!!  Most nights I go to bed crying so, when I wake up in the morning I feel TERRIBLE and end up going back to bed.  I work out by myself so, the only person I have to answer to is me.  So, I am having a hard time, period.

Recently I had a visit with a plastic surgeon, to get evaluated, to see if I would qualify for a medical reduction.  The news was good and he feels very strongly that my insurance with approve me.  One of the qualifications would be the need to remove at least 500 grams of tissue and at this point I'm over 900 grams.  My Dr. said when they approve it, he is required to do the surgery within 3 months, or the approval process starts over.  My Dr. did say though that he would prefer me to be closer to my goal weight.  The reason being is because when they do the surgery, they are going to be doing a lift at the same time.  If I lose the weight I'm wanting to lose, my lift will basically go away and I'll be floppy and may not be as happy.  When he told me this I said I didn't care and wanted it done NOW.  He understood that and said he was ok with that too.  However, I slept on it last night, and deep down I know that I would be happier with the results if I waited and had it done when I was either at or closer to my goal weight.  Which means I need to lose another 50-60 more lbs.  Some would say that this is the perfect motivation, which it should be.  However, I'm feeling overwhelmed, a little hopeless, and worn out.  I thought I would've lost more weight this year, with all the training and intense working out I did to train for the marathon.  It just didn't happen though.  I also know it's my fault I'm in this mess.  I just feel so unable to accomplish the task at hand and worry if I have it in me.  So, I am going to do my ABSOLUTE BEST the next 6 months!  I'm going to recommit myself and do everything in my power to get to my goal weight in 6 months.  Then, at the end of those 6 months, I will revisit the reduction surgery.  Another reason I want to wait until then is I want to the Spectrum 10k race in March and the Bryce Canyon 1/2 Marathon in July.  The recovery for the surgery is 6 weeks and then I would have to retrain and I just don't think I'd have the training time I need.  So, which it's annoying and I'm kicking myself, I know I'd be happier in the end to wait and have the surgery done when I'm down more in weight.

Happy Runnerversary!!!!

Today is my Runnerversary!  On this day, 1 year ago, I started running and training with Amber, Jocelyn, and Ami.  I've been able to change, learn, and grow so much in this year!  The most amazing thing out of all of this is that I've stuck to this and haven't quit!!!!  Not quitting 3 weeks into it is a HUGE accomplishment for me.  Something I'm proud of is at the end of this year, I will be able to say that I ran 13 races in 2013!!!  My final race of the year will be the Expedition St. George 50-mile relay race, next Saturday!  It has been an amazing adventure!  I can't wait to see what this year holds for me!

(I've got a long ways to go still but, there is definite improvement!)