I haven't posted on here for some time! I think for a couple main reasons. #1: No one reads this so sometimes I think, what's the point? #2: I'm embarrassed and disappointed with myself and how I haven't sticked to getting healthy, like I had been doing so well before. I think now it's time to get back this, knowing that people still won't read it but also knowing that this is an excellent journal of my up AND downs in trying to achieve my goal of being healthy and looking more fit and healthy.
This year has been really tough for me, as far as fitness goes. I felt like I lost my love and fire for racing. This came for a few reasons (change in running partners, race partners, feeling defeated, etc.) but, mostly I was burnt out. I felt like my purpose and drive for running was not really there anymore. That scared me and I suffered for it, mentally AND especially physically! I decided it was time to take a break from racing because racing was meant to be enjoyed and I just wasn't enjoying it. However, I feel like I'm getting that fire back again. It's been 2 years since I did the marathon. My biggest fear and worry of doing it again was a fight I had mentally. Mentally, I don't have the confidence, desire, or strength to do it again....until now. I volunteered for the St. George Ironman as well as the St. George Marathon. It did my heart and soul good to be part of those events. Seeing those athletes, each and everyone of them, push their bodies to their limits, reminded me of why I was doing it in the first place. I want to push my body and mind beyond the boundaries I have set for myself. I think another reason I've been scared to do it is because I'm alone on my training. The girl's I trained with the first time have all gone different ways with their training, and have different goals. Jocelyn is KILLING IT in Crossfit and really loves and does well at it! Amber Blair has taken to Ironman competitions, getting a lot stronger, and is do amazing things! Amber Sheffield also has been doing Ironman competitions, swimming competitions, and getting stronger. I know that I can't rely on others to push me through. My friend's, Brittany & JJ, have been amazingly supportive. Her and I talked about me doing the marathon again and she's already giving me the push and desire to do it! I know they'll help me anyway they can and give me support! Then, there are a couple other girl's who have said they would like to do the marathon and run with me. Amber Blair is doing it next year and said she'd love to carpool for the long runs so, that takes a huge stress off! Unfortunately, I am not naive to the training it takes for a marathon so, it's scary and makes me nervous but, stepping out of my comfort zone is really going to help me grow. I want to prove to myself that I can do better and have more faith and confidence in myself and my abilities. On top of that, I need to get back to losing weight and getting healthy again because I know I can do it!!!!
I'm dealing with kidney stones in my left kidney. It's very painful and can prevent me from doing things sometimes. I am hoping that by exercising more and eating healthier, that I will be in less pain until the stone decides to pass or break up, etc.
My next race that I am actively training for is the Las Vegas Ragnar. It is in 2 weeks and I'm excited! It's the most fun race! I really enjoy it! I will be doing the Baker's Dozen Half Marathon Relay in December. That's always a fun, low-stress race. I also know that for my half marathon, to prepare for the marathon, I will be doing the Ogden Half Marathon. I've ran the course a couple times, in running the marathon relay, and I really enjoy it. It's beautiful, great temperatures, and an awesome crowd!
So, here's to starting over again, back to square one, kind of.
