The Struggle

I've been slacking off my workouts BIG TIME!!!!  I haven't quit all together.  I'm just not consistently going.  It kills me.  All I can say is that life's challenges and struggles I am going through are weighing so heavy on me both mentally AND physically!!!!  Most nights I go to bed crying so, when I wake up in the morning I feel TERRIBLE and end up going back to bed.  I work out by myself so, the only person I have to answer to is me.  So, I am having a hard time, period.

Recently I had a visit with a plastic surgeon, to get evaluated, to see if I would qualify for a medical reduction.  The news was good and he feels very strongly that my insurance with approve me.  One of the qualifications would be the need to remove at least 500 grams of tissue and at this point I'm over 900 grams.  My Dr. said when they approve it, he is required to do the surgery within 3 months, or the approval process starts over.  My Dr. did say though that he would prefer me to be closer to my goal weight.  The reason being is because when they do the surgery, they are going to be doing a lift at the same time.  If I lose the weight I'm wanting to lose, my lift will basically go away and I'll be floppy and may not be as happy.  When he told me this I said I didn't care and wanted it done NOW.  He understood that and said he was ok with that too.  However, I slept on it last night, and deep down I know that I would be happier with the results if I waited and had it done when I was either at or closer to my goal weight.  Which means I need to lose another 50-60 more lbs.  Some would say that this is the perfect motivation, which it should be.  However, I'm feeling overwhelmed, a little hopeless, and worn out.  I thought I would've lost more weight this year, with all the training and intense working out I did to train for the marathon.  It just didn't happen though.  I also know it's my fault I'm in this mess.  I just feel so unable to accomplish the task at hand and worry if I have it in me.  So, I am going to do my ABSOLUTE BEST the next 6 months!  I'm going to recommit myself and do everything in my power to get to my goal weight in 6 months.  Then, at the end of those 6 months, I will revisit the reduction surgery.  Another reason I want to wait until then is I want to the Spectrum 10k race in March and the Bryce Canyon 1/2 Marathon in July.  The recovery for the surgery is 6 weeks and then I would have to retrain and I just don't think I'd have the training time I need.  So, which it's annoying and I'm kicking myself, I know I'd be happier in the end to wait and have the surgery done when I'm down more in weight.

Happy Runnerversary!!!!

Today is my Runnerversary!  On this day, 1 year ago, I started running and training with Amber, Jocelyn, and Ami.  I've been able to change, learn, and grow so much in this year!  The most amazing thing out of all of this is that I've stuck to this and haven't quit!!!!  Not quitting 3 weeks into it is a HUGE accomplishment for me.  Something I'm proud of is at the end of this year, I will be able to say that I ran 13 races in 2013!!!  My final race of the year will be the Expedition St. George 50-mile relay race, next Saturday!  It has been an amazing adventure!  I can't wait to see what this year holds for me!

(I've got a long ways to go still but, there is definite improvement!)

Post-Marathon Feelings, Etc.

When we got home from the marathon, the first thing I did was find the couch and land there!  It felt good just to lay down and get my feet up!  I didn't even bother to take my shoes off yet.  I just wanted to relax and breathe!  Then, we started to figure out what we wanted to eat for lunch!  I was STARVING and wanted beef!  So, Mike and my Dad left and went on a hunt for some beef for me, ha ha!  They got back and had brought me a 6-dollar burger from Carl's Jr.  I couldn't wait to eat!  Except, I didn't even finish my hamburger, which surprised me!  I thought I would down that sucker, no problem.  So, after I finished lunch, I just laid on the couch for the longest time!!!!

Nancy Lisonbee stopped by, on her way home, and brought me some doughnuts!  Yummy!  I am a sucker for doughnuts so, I welcomed the treat!  I wasn't up for having one so, I hid them so they kids wouldn't get to them before I had a chance to make the first pick, ha ha.

I finally got the nerve to take my shoes off and my compression socks.  I was avoiding this because I knew there was some nastiness going on with my feet, from the blisters.  So, I began to unlace my shoes and that HURT!  My feet were very tender, sore, and raw!  I finally got my shoes off.  Next came the compression socks.  I knew this was going to hurt.  It's a BEAST of a job getting the compression socks on.  Now, I needed to take them off.  They didn't come easily and the closer I got to my foot, the more my foot stung and hurt!  Mike wanted to take them off for me but, I couldn't let him.  I had to be in control of taking them off.  It was hurting so very bad and I knew it was like a bandaid; I just needed to rip it off quickly.  So, I did!  OH! MY! GOODNESS!  The pain I felt was AWFUL!  One of the blisters had popped during my run.  It was one of the bigger ones.  Well, it had leaked onto my sock and dried there.  So, when I ripped the sock off, it reopened that blister and took off skin with it!!!  It was awful!!!!  Mike went and got my "Blister Bag" so that I could Dr. my blisters.  I ended up having 8 blisters on my feet and toes.  This was a record amount of blisters than I had ever gotten before.  So, I careful popped the rest of my blisters, cleaned all of them, put medicine on them, and then bandaid the heck out of my foot.

After I finished cleaning my foot, I moved back to my position on the couch. General Conference's 2pm session began so, we started to watch that.  After that was over, my Mom and Mike went and took a nap.  My Dad and I watched football, and eventually he fell asleep too.  Corie took a nap and the other kids played outside and with their toys.  I tried to take a nap, since I had been up since 3am but, I was still couldn't fall asleep.  I think the adrenaline was still pumping.  Finally, around 5pm, I decided I would go shower.  I'm sure I'm smelled like death!  I was scared to get in the shower though!  Having water/sweat hit open wounds is SO PAINFUL!  I knew my feet were going to feel that pain, as well as the other open cuts I had on my body, from the normal wear and tear of a race.  Sure enough, as soon as I stepped into the shower, the stinging/deep pain hit!  It took my breath away.  I cried for about 5 minutes,when the pain was finally gone from the water washing away the sweat and cleaning out the cuts and blisters.  Then, it actually felt good and relaxed my muscles.  After my shower, I put on my St. George Marathon shirt, my finisher medal, and some relaxing capri-sweats.  I climbed into bed and ahhhhhhh, it felt so good!!!!  My Mom came in and talked to me a little bit and then told me to go to sleep, and she would play with the kids.  So, I tried to go to sleep.  It was hard though because at this point, my feet were throbbing and on fire.  My leg muscles were also tense, aching, and screaming at me.  I couldn't really relax enough to sleep.  So, I got up and went out to chat with my Mom.

By the time 9pm rolled around, I was VERY READY to go to bed.  My feet and muscles still hurt but, I didn't care.  I needed sleep by then.  So, I went to bed before everyone else.  I fell asleep fast and slept hard as a rock!  Mike took this picture of me, when he came in to go to bed:

What can I say?  I'm one proud mama!!!!  I love this medal and would probably wear it 24/7, if I could!

The next 3-4 days were pretty dang sore for me!  I was glad to not live in house that has stairs!!!!  Just sitting down anywhere, or bending over, was killer for me!  I would have to do the 1-2-3-sit! method most of the time!!!!  For the first week, I didn't run or go to the gym at all.  I was burned out and needed some recovery time.  The first time I ran/exercised after the marathon, was the following Friday, I think.  Or maybe it was Monday?  Anyway, I met up with Jocelyn and the Amber's to run the Mayor's Loop.  I thought I was good to go.  I was WRONG!  Oh my!  That run was so awkward, uncomfortable, and SLOW!!!!  It took me a really long time!  I did it though.

After that run, I knew it was time to hit the gym again.  I had to get back into the swing of things.  So, off to the gym I went........

From the moment I crossed the finish line and got home, I was sad the marathon was over.  Right after the marathon, I wasn't sad about the running part being over.  I was good with that part being over.  However, the excitement of it all over and that was sad for me.  All the months of training, mentally and physically, prepared me for this race.  It was the most EXCITING thing to cross that finish line, to say I completed that marathon.  Along with all that training came friendships!  I loved getting to know new people and sharing in this experience with them!  The anticipation of the day was a fun part of it too!  It was such an adventure!  Now it was over and I was sad.  I felt that post-race depression for a good week after the marathon.  I just felt so sad that it was all over.  I've had quite a few people ask me if I'll do another marathon.  Up until that day, the answer was a definite no.  It's funny because there's a few people who seem almost disappointed in me for "only" doing one.  However, now that the marathon is over, I find myself wanting to do it again.  I know that I could do it BETTER and even faster!  My plan is to run the St. George Marathon again in 2015.  Why not the 2014 one?  That one is mostly for my family's sake!  We really want to go camping next year a lot and get away more.  With training for the marathon, that won't happen.  So, next year I'll focus on smaller races and keep my running going. Before I run another marathon, I need to make some improvements.  The main one is lose a lot more weight!  There's no way I'll do another marathon this size.  I don't recommend for anyway.  Losing weight will help me be faster and feel better on my runs.  I also think that will help me not get the blisters I usually get.  The other thing I need to improve on is my endurance level and being able to run further, consistently, without walking.  Until the time comes to start training for that marathon, I look forward to all the races in between now and then.  Not only that, but all the changes I will see in myself before then!

St. George Marathon - PART 4 - Crossing the Finish Line!!!!

The arches in my feet were REALLY hurting me!  Heck, my feet were just done and over this whole Marathon thing!  However, I kept going and going because I knew at the end would be my family and friends that were there to support me!  About 4 blocks away I spotted Amber B. coming towards me!  I was so happy to see her!  She's really good about pushing me and not letting me stop or throw in the towel.  So, I knew she'd be an awesome boost for me.  Coming up to 3 blocks away from the finish line (the corner of Main St. and 300 South) I could hear someone screaming my name!  

Of course, I still had no idea who it was.  Luckily JJ was there to help me out!  It was my bestest friend, Nicky, and her AWESOME sister, Amy!!!!  They were there with signs, screaming, yelling, and so full of energy that I didn't have!  Ha ha!  Nicky ran over to me and I just hugged her as hard as I could!  I was SO HAPPY to see her! 

My foot was really bothering me again and I decided to take one last stretch before finishing out the marathon.

After I finished stretching, we all started to run...Nicky included!  It was SO FUN!  

The next person I saw was my Dad!!!!!  My Dad is my hero and I really look up to him and have so much respect for him!  My Dad has been a HUGE support through this whole experience!  Granted, when I first made the phone call to tell him that I was doing the marathon, he was pretty skeptical about it.  He admits that he didn't really have any expectations in me doing it.  He just kind and nodded and smiled.  I can't blame him though!  It's understandable.  However, he soon realized that I was serious about it and I needed him.  So, after every long run on Saturday's, I would call him or he would call me.  We would discuss how the run went, how I could've done better, how it felt, etc.  He was really my therapist during this whole thing!  So, it was so important to have him there!  Just knowing he was at the finish line, picturing and know what he would say, helped me through!  So, of course I had to run over to him.  I remember a memory popping in my head.  It was when I was in 5th grade, running The Wellsville Mile.  Back in the day I wasn't fast by any means but, I could hold my own.  I remember running The Wellsville Mile and as I was rounding the corner, by the school, to make my 2nd lap, he jumped out from the crowd and was SO EXCITED for me and cheered so loud!  My Dad was much the same this time!  He was pumped and excited!  He also knew I just needed to keep going because I was tired so, he just urged me forward and cheered me on!

As we neared the 2-blocks-away mark, Nicky dropped back and headed to the bleachers.  Brittney then told me they were going to drop back also because they had already finished and were going to let me go in.  So, off I went!  I was full of adrenaline and just started going as fast as I could go.  It wasn't the fast sprint of all time but, it was the only sprint I had left in me!

Entering the orange chute, to head into the finish line, was the most exciting experience for me!!!!  I started a little too fast, too soon.  I could feel my stomach coming up into my throat and I wanted to puke!  Then I heard Brittney yell something to the effect to keep pushing and don't give in, just keep going!  So, I dug deep and kept pushing through!  

I think THE COOLEST part was when I heard they say over the speakers, "Laura McGinnis, of St. George, Utah!!!!!"  That was SO AWESOME to hear and really made me emotional!!!!  I could hear my brother-in-law, Shawn, yelling and screaming for me!  That was a fun surprise for me!  I didn't expect to see him there, as he has been in Michigan, going to Law School! I could hear others around me yelling but, didn't see who they were!  I just knew that finish line was right there and I wanted to get there!

Very near the end, just feet before I was about to cross the finish line, Connor popped out from the fencing/blockade to cross the finish line with me!  I had forgotten I told the kids they could come out and finish with me, if they wanted to!  So, when Connor came running it melted my heart and it was so fun to have him running by my side!

Crossing that finish line was a wonderful, amazing, exciting, relieving, REWARDING moment for me!  I DID IT!!!  To know I finished and finished strong was AWESOME!  To stop, bend over, and let them put that beautiful, hard-earned medal on me, meant THE WORLD to me!  It felt so surreal!  I am so proud of that medal.  

After receiving my finishers medal, I headed over to the misters, to cool off and just breathe!

One of the first things I realized, after I finished, is how GOOD I felt!  Of course, my feet were all jacked up and I was scared of what I'd find when I took the shoes and socks off.  Other than my feet, I felt REALLY GOOD!  I honestly felt full of energy and just SO HAPPY!!!!  I'm sure it was all adrenaline but, I was just happy at how GREAT I felt!  A lot of times, after a race, my stomach is sick and I'm pooped but, not this time!  This time I felt awesome!!!!  

I waddled my way over to see my family and friends after that!  I was so excited to see all of them!  I want to document the people that came to see me finish or were there to see/help me finish (if I forgot someone, please tell me):

Mike, Connor, Rylie, and Corie

Dad & Mom

Mike's Dad & Mom

Shawn, Stacey, Ireland McGinnis

Chelsey Eaton

Mikenzi McGinnis

Nicky Garcia

Amy Johnson

Pete, Nancy, Preston, and Michael Lisonbee

Travis & Amber Sheffield

JJ & Brittney Farmer

Jason & Tera Schatz

Amber Blair

Jocelyn Sackett

Dustin & Kendra Tollefson

Sam Hill

Brittany & Alliyah Staheli

I COULDN'T wait to get over to see my family and friends!  They all made me feel like I was a superstar! I saw all the fun signs they made! They were snapping pictures and it made me feel like a Queen!  They were all so excited and happy and I could feel their love and support!  It meant so much to me to see all of them there!!!!!  I don't think I could put into words how much it meant to me!!!!  Each of them have played an important roll in me getting to this point and I love each of them for it!

After pictures, I got a chance to hug everyone and just enjoy the moment.  It was so memorable and just so fun! Soon after that, I decided it was time to take a load off my feet!  After the marathon, they have it set up that you can go into the park and get food, pictures done, massages, pick up your clothes-bag, etc. but, I didn't have it in me to walk into the park.  My upper body would've but, my feet had gone to bed and were in a state of rigamortis!  I knew that some of my other friends were in the park and I wanted to go talk to them but, I just couldn't.  So, a couple people (I can't remember who now, ha ha) helped me over to the corner and sat me in a chair.  Mike left to go get the car.  As soon as I sat down I just breathed a big ahhhhhh!  The kids were so cute!  They came over and were shading me with signs that were made for me!

Nicky and Amy were nice enough to go into the park area and get my clothing-bag as well as get my ice cream for me, which they did the ultimate sacrifice and ate it for me!  Ha ha!  

Soon Mike arrived with the car.  I got up to go and hobbled over to the car.  I found myself feeling sad.  I didn't want to leave and for this whole thing to be over.  However, I felt happy and good about what I had accomplished and I knew I did the best I could and I felt so happy in that!

________________________________________________________

So, on October 5, 2013, I completed the St. George Marathon!!!!!  I finished and completed what I set out to do!  If I had known what I was getting myself into, what I would experience and go through to accomplishment, the feelings I would have, and everything that goes with it, I don't think I would have done it!  The person I was BEFORE all this began didn't believe in herself enough to do it!  Not once in my life had I carried out such a tedious and intense goal!  Thank heavens I had someone (Amber Blair) who believed in me from the get-go and knew I had the potential in me to complete this goal!  I was able to lean on her for confidence, when I didn't have it in me to think I could do it.  She may have been the only one at the time, who kept saying and pushing for me to do this!  I am SO GRATEFUL that she put it out there for me to do the marathon!  I am SO GRATEFUL for all the effort, time,and commitment that she put out to get me started, on track, and helped me see my goal and dream through to the end!  Amber has done SO MUCH to help me out and still continues to help me!

There are SO MANY influential people that have helped me in this journey!  My husband and kids have REALLY been through this....good times and TOUGH times!  They have really sacrificed so much, by allowing me to train and do all the races.  This year of training has taken away our Saturday's, for the most part!  I've also been exhausted, sore, and sometimes too worn out to do a lot of things.  My kids have been SO SWEET and have been excited and always ask how the gym went!  The cutest thing is when I have come home from races with a medal on!  You'd think I had won gold at the Olympics!  They jump around, scream, and yell, "Mommy, you won!!!!"  They want to wear the medal and are SO PROUD of me!  That makes it all worth it!  I'm also grateful for my parents, Mike's parents, and the rest of our family!  Sometimes they would help babysit kids, if Mike was out of town.  Or just call to see how training was going!  Even if they all couldn't come to see me race, they all were there in my heart, cheering me on!

 I have to also thank Jocelyn!  She has been with me from the start of this too!  At first we were just two people wanting to learn how to run, change our lifestyle, etc.  Through this we have become close, amazing friends and I just love her to death!  She's been extremely positive and loving and SUPPORTIVE!  When I wanted to give up, she kept giving me reasons to keep going!  I am so proud of her and how far she has come and how much she's accomplished!  She is quite the awesome runner!

A shout out to Amber & Travis Sheffield too!  I cannot begin to express how much it meant to have them with me on the entire marathon route on the day of the race!  I love them for being there and helping me to keep going and to not give up!  I appreciate Amber MAKING me talk out my feeling, concerns, and frustrations so that I could get them out and move on from them!  It really shows what kind of people they are, to put aside their own abilities and desires and to help me along!  Amber has also been there to buoy me up throughout this experience!  She's also been my physical therapist/taping expert on the last few races I've done!

A big thank you to the Farmers!  These 2 are SO AWESOME!  They have always checked up on me, offered support from calling me on the phone during a run, running with me, prepping me before a race, going shoe shopping with me, gave me advice on nutrition and fueling, and mentally helped me get my mind into a good, focused place, and coming back from the finish line to find me and make sure I'm ok!

I have AMAZING friends that have been there for almost EVERY race or to give me strong encouragement!  The Tollefson's have been at many of the same races I have been in as well!  They stuck around for every one of them and was there to see or help me finish!  The fun one was the Bryce Canyon 1/2 Marathon, when Dustin came and helped me get my butt in gear and finish that beast of a race!  Dustin and Kendra have been AMAZING and so positive and motivating.....even with all my rants and whining that comes with me!  Then, of course, there is Nancy and Cheryl!  These 2 have been HUGE cheerleaders for me!  They've listened to me talk over and over and over about my running and racing and have been excited and supportive and eager to help the entire process!  They've been to races to cheer me on and that means the world to me!!!!  I realize it is a big sacrifice to come to my events and be there but, not once have they (or anyone else) made me feel like it was a burden or too much to ask of them!  I appreciate that SO MUCH!  Nicky has been a HUGE supporter too!!!!  Months and months ago she told me she would come down to see me finish the marathon.  Nicky lives in SLC and has 2 kids so, life is busy for her!  For her to make that sacrifice FOR ME made me feel SO GOOD!  Having her here was SO FUN!!!!!  I love my BFF! :-)

I wish I could name EVERY PERSON who has helped me in one way or another!  So many people have reached out in support for me, and you know who you are! From every comment, text, phone call, to even simply "Like"ing my MANY throw-up-of-posts on Facebook! 

My ward has been SO AWESOME!!!!  SO MANY come up to me on Sunday morning to see how my practice run went, to see when my next race is.  Or they come up and tell me how good I'm looking or how proud they are of me!  I don't know if they realize it but, each person that said one thing or another to me, to support or help me, really touched me and helped me out!!!! 

 Even beyond that, I had people reach out to me from my hometown, from my mission, from Michigan, from Facebook, and I even made running-friends/family along the way that would check up on me and offer support and help!  I am SO BLESSED!!!!  I feel SO LUCKY to have so many wonderful, special, loving, caring, and supportive people in my life!!!!!  I love ALL OF YOU, seriously!  Nothing you have said or done to help me through this has gone unnoticed!

St. George Marathon - PART 3 - The Beginning of Running the Marathon Up Until 5 Blocks Before the Finish Line!

As I started the race I felt fine.  Of course, I was cold.  I had on 2 layers, as well as gloves with hand warmers inside of them.  It was still pretty dark outside but, not too bad.  I didn't look around much.  Mostly just focused on one foot in front of the other and concentrated on my breathing.  Like I said in my previous post, people were passing me left and right.  I was passing people too but, with so many passing me and so fast, it was a little tough mentally.  I just kept going though and tried not to think about it too much.

One thing that was so neat to see and watch the entire race was the sea of runners!  It was SO COOL to see swarms of runners, making their way up and down the route to the very end!!!!

From this point on, some of the stuff I remember is vague, as far as where exactly it took place on the marathon route.  So, I'll just guess as I go (Amber Sheffield, if you remember more, you can help me out).  Somewhere around mile 2 or 2 1/2 miles into the race, Travis & Amber Sheffield found me.  I cannot tell you how RELIEVED I was to see them.  Amber could tell I was frustrated and was really good about getting me to talk it out and cry it out.  I instant felt a boost, seeing them and having them next to me!  I didn't even dare ask if Amber would or could be staying with me through the race.  I was hoping but, didn't want her to feel obligated or pressured.  So, I just was so grateful for the time she was with me.  So, on our way we went.  I was feeling better and refreshed.  The first 6 miles of the race were new territory for me, so that helped the time go a little faster for me. Soon near mile 7, we got to the town of Veyo.  People were so excited and happy and cheered us on.  I remember seeing an ambulance ahead of me and said to myself, as I was running, "Just run until you get to the ambulance, then take a break and walk a bit."  I soon realized that the ambulance was moving at a slow, steady pace so, I wouldn't actually get to the ambulance, ha ha.

After the town of Veyo comes the dreaded Veyo hill.  Previous to the marathon, I had only trained on Veyo hill twice.  The first time I hyperventilated, threw up, and had a horrible run.  The 2nd time was with the Farmer's and was a much better experience because JJ and Brittney helped me to focus on my breathing and keeping that in check so I didn't burn all of my energy out on the hill.  We started up the hill, and this is where I think the distance on my watch got messed up.  Usually when I trained up Veyo hill, I would go on the left side.  Well, this time I went on the right side.  I really think that made it longer and messed up my watch (as well as weaving to different sides of the road along the route a couple times), causing my watch to say I was .15 further than I really was.  That messed with my mind too.  So, Travis and Amber were with me as I started up Veyo hill.  Amber need a potty break so, she ran up the hill to use the bathroom so that as she was coming out, I would be caught up to her.  So, Travis stuck with me on this part.  Travis is a ball of energy, if any of you don't know him!  He has energy and excitement to spare!  So, as I'm trudging up the hill, looking like a dead horse, he's cruising and bouncing around, just happy as can be.  During the race I wanted to hurt him, ha ha but, honestly I admire those qualities and the face that he could stay happy, perky, and excited the entire time.  He was so good to share stories and fun interesting things.  I didn't say much or respond because I just don't have the energy to but, I listened.  Once Amber found us, Travis took his own break and then went back to find some people that he knew.  Amber and I kept moving and I was STILL SO GRATEFUL that Amber was still with me. 

My mind would wander a lot.  I had one headphone in my right ear and kept my other ear free to listen to Amber and Travis.  Off and on I would think about the other people I knew that were running, wondering where they were and how they were doing.  I would also think about my family and wondered what they were doing at that moment.  I also spent many moments praying, praying, and then praying some more.  I would also think about the route and what was coming up next.  These thoughts would come and go throughout the entire race.

The next major spot in the route was Dameron Valley hill.  This hill isn't as steep as Veyo hill but, it's LONG and just feels like it won't ever end.  I was already beat down a bit from Veyo hill and winded and frustrated.  I was not in the mood to tackle another hill but, I didn't have a choice.  Onward and upward, ha ha!  One thing that kept me going and trudging forward was knowing that Dameron Valley was the last LONG/BIG hill on the route.  I also knew that Diamond Valley wasn't too far away and if I could make it to that point, then I knew I could finish.  More tears came and, like I normally do, I kind of climbed inside myself and was very upset.  Amber recognized this and helped me talk out my frustrations, fears, etc.  While I couldn't just give up and Amber couldn't finish the race for me, it just helped to get all of that emotion out and breathe easier.  Amber was also AMAZING at just letting me cry it out, be upset, and not once did she seem annoyed, bothered, or frustrated that I going slower than I should have been, or that I couldn't run because my feet were killing me!  It was around this point (mile 9ish) that I can feel some horrible blisters either formed or forming on my feet.  Every time I would run, or try to, it felt like someone was stabbing my feet with a really dull, jagged knife!  It was painful!  So, I would just focus on walking really, really fast.  That would have to do for now.  We came across a few different people that chatted with us. First were these 2 ladies.  One of them was a jabber-box but, in an obnoxious kind of way. :-)  She was talking about how she had been kind of following us and now she was getting to pass us, something like that.  The next was a really cool, nice man!  I do remember his last name being Horlacher (I grew up with and had friends with the same last name).  He was AWESOME!  He was telling us about how he had heritage in the St. George Marathon.  I think it was his Grandpa? who helped or put together the first St. George Marathon.  He shared some really neat stories about how the aid stations worked back then, etc.  This man was what I needed because for the short time he was with us, he really helped to take my mind off of me and the pain and listen to him.  He was so nice!  Then, he went on his way.  I remember next seeing a hang glider dude cruising around and how I was wishing I could get on and fly to the finish line!

My first REALLY HARD and TOUGH spot came around mile 11 or 12.  I kept thinking, "Holy crap, I haven't even hit the half way spot!  Then I have to do what I've just done all over again!"  I've come to realize that unless it's like a 5k or 10k, telling myself that I'm half way done will not help me but, will only make me discouraged.  So, I won't be doing that anymore.

I FINALLY hit the 1/2 way spot (mile 13.1), which is right before Diamond Valley.  I LOVE running from Diamond Valley!  The hill going down from there is WONDERFUL and I just feel good running that stretch.  So, I was happy to hit that spot.  Except I had PAINFUL FEET at that point and when I tried to run, it was EXTREMELY PAINFUL!  I was frustrated but, I just kept going.   About half way in between Diamond Valley and the Snow Canyon lookout/entry point, Amber let me know that the BOOYAH group (you can read about where the BOOYAH group came from here: http://www.stgeorgeutah.com/news/archive/2013/09/07/sam-booyah-braydon-tribute-ride-remembering-beloved-athlete-friend-family-man-1/) was right behind me.  I went into panic mode and freaked out a bit and started to cry. My watch had said a different story, that I was right on my pace mark and was fine.  However, I didn't really trust my watch at this point, because the mileage was off so, I must've had everything else off.  The BOOYAH group was pacing to finish at a certain time and would be close to the cut-off mark.  I needed to have a healthy space away from them so I wouldn't feel pressured and worry about not finishing.  So, I cried and decided to get my butt in gear and get going and RUN!!!  It hurt, I'm not going to lie but, it kind of went numb the distance that I DID run!  I just kept going and going until I had to go back to a fast walk.  Amber looked behind and couldn't see the BOOYAH group anymore so, I was able to breathe and focus again.  Travis found us shortly after that stretch, around mile 15 or 16.  He let us know that the BOOYAH group was ahead of the original paced/finishing time and that "The Sweeper" ("The Sweeper" is a runner who paced the end of the marathon, to make sure people would get past the cut-off point, in the time allowed, if they stayed with or ahead of him) was way behind them!  I was SO RELIEVED to hear that!  There was hope for me!  I am SO GRATEFUL that Amber gave me that kick in the pants that I needed though.  It not only gave me the push I needed to get out of my pity-party and my rut, but it also gave me a fresh, positive outlook on the remainder of the race.  I kind of put my mind at ease and KNEW that I was going to make it past the cut-off time and finish this marathon!

Sometime after the Ledges, I started looking for people that I may know.  After The Ledges, it was hard to get past and see any runners or watch the marathon.  However, from the Ledges to the finish line, anyone could watch.  I started to get really sick to my stomach around mile 18.  I needed a port-a-potty NOW!!!!  Luckily for EVERYONE, especially Amber and myself, there was one just past there and I might live!  Ha ha!  It also felt good to stop, take a good breather stop, have some ICY/HOT rubbed on my legs, and kind of re-group!  I even saw LaRae (from Planet 94.1)running in a tutu, ha ha!  I think she's funny!

The next neat spot that I came to happened around/after the BOOYAH aid station, which was around mile 21 or 22.  I had finished filling up my water, drinking my Gatorade, when I see JJ and Brittney Farmer making their way to find me!!!!  I had completely spaced them coming back to find me!  It was SO AWESOME to see them and totally gave me an extra boost!  They had finished running the marathon and then turned around to come back and find me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It really touched me and meant SO MUCH!  I felt like the LUCKIEST and MOST LOVED girl in the world, because running on one side of me was Amber and Travis Sheffield.  On the other side I had JJ and Brittney Farmer!  I had SO MUCH SUPPORT!!!!  It was SO COOL!  Shortly after that, Amber and Travis dropped off from running with us and went back to the BOOYAH aid station, to wait for the rest of the BOOYAH group to catch up and finish with them.

I remember getting very excited and thrilled when we started the drop off from Highway 18 down to where it changes to Bluff St.  The cut-off spot, where you had to be by 1pm, was at the intersection of Bluff St. and Snow Canyon Parkway.  I could see that spot and felt so much happiness, relief, and excitement because I had beat the cut-off time.  I had no pressure after that and knew it was just one foot in front of the other, until the end.  I could envision my friends and my family, all there at the end, making this all worth it!  I was pumped!!!!!

We hit the intersection and I happen to see my friend Nancy, her husband Pete, and her two kids (Preston and Michael)!!!!

Something about seeing friends or family on the course makes me super emotional, happy, and excited!  I was OVER-JOYED to see Nancy!  Nancy has been one of the main people, that has been with me through this entire journey from Day 1, and extremely supportive!!!!  She even went on a drive of the course to get to know it and see where good places would be to wait for me, and took notes!  She's just been awesome and really there for me!  So, I hugged her and had noticed she and my friend, Cheryl, had made THE CUTEST signs for the race!

 SO FUN!  So, then I took off again.  Nancy (who was pregnant and sick), started running with me!  She was so positive, happy, excited AND in flip-flops!  She stuck with us for a quarter of a mile!  I was SO IMPRESSED and loved having her run with me!  She wanted to get back and see me at the finish line, so she quickly took Pete home (he had to go to work) and hurried to get back!  She's AMAZING!

Pretty soon we hit the corner of Diagonal St. and Bluff St.  During my training, I've always kind of disliked the last stretch of the marathon, from Diagonal, onto the end.  The road is uneven and just crappy.  I have never liked it.  So, I was kind of dreading it and  wasn't too sure of how it would go.  We rounded the corner and someone had misters set up and they were also grilling hot dogs, I think!  The misters felt really good!  Ahhhhh!  Then came the popsicles!  I had heard that someone usually hands out popsicles on Diagonal St.  However, I just figured that by the time I came through, that they would be gone.  I was wrong, YAY!!!!!!!  They were still handing out popsicles.  Mmmmm, it tasted so good!  I didn't keep it long because I just couldn't run and hold onto the popsicle and suck on it at the same time!  Too much energy, ha ha!  We kept moving down the road, and my arches started to cramp up here and there.  So, I would stop and stretch out my arches and then get on my way again.  Meanwhile, Brittney and JJ stayed with me the entire time!  They were EXACTLY how I needed them to be!  They were happy, patient, kind, motivating, and encouraging!  They kept reminding me I was almost there and reminded me of my family, the medal, etc.  The end was SO CLOSE!  From Diagonal St., we turned onto 300 W.  I've always thought this was so funny and interesting because we pass right by a mortuary!  In fact, this year they had some pretty funny signs!  I remember one of them saying something like: "Dig deep but, not too deep!"  I was sad to see that the first aid station I worked at last year, was not there this year!  :-(  I guess they weren't able to find someone to handle it.  By now, the temperatures were pretty warm.  I was getting more and more cramped up and my feet were on FIRE!!!!!  From 300 W., we turned left, onto Tabernacle Dr.  What's funny was at this point I really couldn't see faces on the spectators.  I was kind of delirious and just focusing on finishing without chopping my feet off.  However, I could hear voices cheering me on, "Go Laura!", etc.  I didn't know who it was because I couldn't focus on faces.  JJ told me it was a man and woman and the guy was wearing all black.  With just that description, I knew exactly who it was!  It was Mike's boss and wife (Jason and Tera) and parents.  We had text back and forth as to what we were all wearing for the marathon!  They had finished a couple + hours before me and they had stuck around to see me finish!!!!!!!!  I thought it was incredibly kind of them!  Jason came after me when I hit the Washington County School Administrative building, because he could see I was having problems with cramping in my feet.  He gave me some salt pills to take, which I did, and cheered me on to keep going.

We saw a funny thing, as we were nearing the corner of Tabernacle and Main St.  There was 3 runners in front of us.  The middle one was a girl, in her 20's, running.  We looked at her and it appeared that she had a fluorescent yellow tail!  It was SO FUNNY to look at!  After studying her "tail", I realized it was her draw string and it had gone down between her thighs and had wrapped up behind her, causing her to look like she had a tail!  This gave me a good laugh!!!!

One of my other favorite things was around Main St. and 100 S., some people were handing out wet, cold towels!  That felt SO GOOD around my neck and gave some relief from the heat I was feeling.  I kind of woke me up too!  After this spot, we only had 5 blocks to the finish line.  Although, these aren't short Wellsville-style blocks.  The blocks on 300 S. are a little longer.  I didn't care though, because the end was near and I COULD NOT WAIT to see my family and friends!!!!  I could feel myself getting emotional, knowing it was near!

Face to Face!!!!

I've been getting a lot of comments about how skinny my face is looking.  I don't see a HUGE difference, but maybe that's because I live with me!

Weight & Measurements Update!

I forgot to document this but, the week before the marathon, I reached the mark of losing 65 lbs.!!!!  I also did my measurements and I've lost a total of 40 3/4'' all over!

St. George Marathon 2013 - PART 2 (Catching the bus & starting the race)

While I was asleep, I had a dream that my alarms never went off and I missed my ride and didn't get to get on the bus and do the race.  This has been a reoccurring dream of mine and something I was very afraid of.  So, I suddenly awoke and I know that was because of Heavenly Father.  I went to check my phone, afraid that I really had missed the race, to find that my phone was frozen on 11:38pm!!!!!  It was actually 2:00am.  If I had not be woken up, my alarms really would not have gone off!  I would've missed the race!  So, I got up and restarted my phone.  I double-checked the alarms and they were still set so, I went back to sleep.  Then, an hour later, at 3:00am, my alarms went off!  I only had to hear one to actually get up.  So, I turned off the other 4.  Amber and Brian weren't picking me up until 4:30am but, I wanted to have PLENTY of time to get ready and just be relaxed.  I had already laid out my clothes, etc. and knew exactly what I would be eating for breakfast.  So, I started my getting my running top and shorts on first.  Then I wandered for a minute.  Then, I began the prep work for my feet.  I first put on the cream to prevent blisters on my feet from forming (a lot of good that did)!  Then, I put some mole skin on an area of my heel that has recently been getting some nasty blisters (that created worse problems).  After I finished that, I started putting on my compression socks.  I do NOT enjoy putting compression socks on!  Those things are TOUGH!!!!  I finally got them on and comfortable.  Then, I put my shoes on, very careful to lace them just right.  After I was dressed, I went out the kitchen to get my oatmeal going.  I was trying to be as quiet as possible, because my parents were sleeping in the living room.  Once my oatmeal was done cooking, I set it out to cool, while I did my hair.  By the way, I seriously love oatmeal!  So, I did my hair and then I went out and got my oatmeal.  Again, being careful not to wake my parents, I brought the oatmeal into my bedroom to eat.  Mike sleeps VERY heavily, so I didn't worry about waking him up.  So, I sat myself down at my computer desk, ate my oatmeal, and played a little Candy Crush, yes I did!!!!  By that time, it was 3:50am.  I still had time, had brushed my teeth after breakfast, had my stuff ready to go....or so I thought.  So, I played a little bit more Candy Crush.  I wasn't nervous during all of this.  Just excited and ancy to get going!  It was about 4:20am, when I realized I hadn't gotten my water bottle ready, didn't have my pre-workout drink ready and packed, and didn't have enough ibuprofen.  So, I scurried around to get it ready.  It was about 4:28am, when I heard Jocelyn outside.  A minute later, I heard the Blair's pull up.  So, I ran around, got my jackets (it was DANG COLD), grabbed my bag of crap, said a tearful goodbye to my parents, and headed out the door!

Our next stop was to stop by the Sheffield's, because they were following us to where we were going to park, to load the bus.  We got down there around 4:45am.  We found our bus and got on it.  I remember our bus being #66 and thought, OH NO!!!!  So, we found our seats towards the back.  Travis decided he needed to use the bathroom before we took off.  So, we were sitting and chatting when the bus driver starts the bus.  We all looked at Amber, thinking "Where is Travis!"  She calmly said, "They just have to start the bus, to warm it up."  Not a minute later, the bus driver closes the door and drives off, without Travis.  I remember thinking, "Oh crap!!!"  Amber was very calm though and put out her pouty lip, being cute, and then we all kind of giggled and said "Oh well!"  We knew he'd be able to catch another bus up, it was just weird leaving without him.  On the flip side, according to Travis, he came back from using the bathroom and got on the bus that was first in line, like the one we got on in the first place.  He said there was a line to get on but, he assured them he already had a seat on the bus with his wife and friends.  So, they let him on.  Well, he got to where our seat was and didn't see us.  He thought we were playing a funny trick on him.  Then, he realized it was not the same bus and we were gone.  So, he sat to a really nice guy and met us up there!

The bus ride up was not nearly as long as I thought it would be.  Maybe because it was dark, maybe because we were having a good time chatting and laughing, maybe because I expected it to be longer, and maybe because I was nervous and didn't want to quite be there yet.  One huge positive was that I didn't throw up on the bus!  The last time I had to take a bus to the starting line, I threw up because I was so nervous.  This time, I was calm the whole time except for one small spot.  Then I was able to breathe through it and it was ok.  After a while, Jocelyn pointed out to me that she could see the big spot lights that swarm around the sky, where a big event is taking place.  Sure enough, I looked outside and there they were.  That meant we were close.  My heart started to beat pretty fast and pretty heavy!  Then, a short time later, we pulled into the parking lot where the starting line was (in Central, UT)!  The scene was AMAZING!!!!  Runners EVERYWHERE!!!!!  It was so exciting to look out the window of the bus, to see the scene in front of me!

 As I stepped off the bus, the first thing I remember thinking was, "Holy crap, it is COLD!!!"  I don't know the exact temperatures of the starting line but, I do know that they were in the low 30's!  You add the wind that was up there and it was COLD!!!  As we walked toward the corals, bonfires, and the starting line, I first looked at all the flags blowing in the wind!  They had a flag to represent every country that had someone running in the marathon.  From the United States there were 49 states represented, with Maine being the only state without a runner there.  They must've been too busy catching crabs or fish or something, ha ha!  There were 9 countries being represented.  The first thing we did was head to the porta-potties.  We did this first because the lines aren't as long as they would be right before we lined up to start the race.  I got inside the porta-potty and I wanted to just stay in there, until the race started, because it was warmer in there!  After we finished in the bathrooms, we headed over to find a bonfire.
 They were all pretty well surrounded so, we just found what warmth we could.  Jocelyn and I both had hand warmers so, we popped those out.  They didn't get near as warm as I remember them being and didn't give much relief.  After a bit, Jocelyn and I walked over to the aid station to fill up her water bottle.  As we started to walk, I could feel how tight the muscles in my legs had gotten, from standing in the cold.  It made me nervous and glad to be walking around.  After Jocelyn filled up her water bottle, we headed back to the fire. On our way back, I ran into JJ and Brittney Farmer, who have been AMAZING in helping me in so many ways!  It was SO GOOD to run into them and get a little last encouragement from them. When we got back to the fire, I started to get my gear and pre-race stuff going.  I put on my running pack, made sure I had all my fuel packets, ibuprofen, salt pills, and leg pills inside.  Then I made sure my water bottle was still full, including my inhaler tucked into the pouch.  Then, I went ahead and drank my pre-race/workout drink.  I began to really feel jittery after that because the time was drawing closer.  Soon after this, they announced it was time to line up in the corals.

Lining up was something I've been pondering about for months.  People generally line up according to when they plan to finish the race.  Along the race, there are pacers.  The pacers are runners who lead runners in an event, to ensure they finish in a specific time.  The first pacer would help the runners around him/her finish in a time of 3:05 and every 10 min after that (spreading out to 30 min.) up until 5:30.  This year they also added a pacer (they called him "The Sweeper") that would help the last runners to reach the cut-off point (Snow Canyon Pkwy/Bluff St. by 1pm) so that they would not be disqualified from the marathon.  Anyway, back to lining up, I wasn't quite sure what to do.  I could either line up to the pacer with the finishing time I thought I would finish in or scoot up closer.  The reason it was such a concern was because I knew my pace/finishing time would put me very near the disqualification/cut-off time!  You had 6 hrs. and 15 min. to reach the disqualification spot.  That may sound like a long time because, it is!!!!  They based this time off of the gun/start time.  They don't go off the time that you actually START the race.  With SO MANY runners in the corals, it can take even 15-20 minutes before you officially start.  So, my concern was if I lined up in the back, where I thought I would finish, that I wouldn't have enough time to make it past the cut-off spot.  So, I opted to scoot up.  Looking back now, I wish I hadn't done that.  I don't wish I had lined up in the back but, rather lined up closer to my approximate finishing time.  The reason I regret lining up where I was is because mentally it was TOUGH having runners passing me left and right, because obviously their pace was faster than mine.  So, that was discouraging at times.  However, once a couple miles had gone by, everyone had pretty much spread out into groups of people running around the same pace.  So, I wasn't being passed as much and, if I was being passed, it wasn't at such a fast pace.

As we started to line up, we all went our separate ways.  Amber Blair and Brian went up near the 4 hour pacer, or somewhere in there (not quite sure).  Amber and Travis Sheffield headed towards the back somewhere.  They were running at  6:15 pace (or somewhere around there) in honor of a friend/fellow athlete that had been killed in an accident.  I walked with Jocelyn and thought about lining up with her.  I was really nervous to be on my own.  However, after a few minutes of standing with her, I knew it wasn't a good idea because she would be going at a much faster pace than I, as well as those around her.  So, I decided I need to head back, closer to where I would finish.  If I remember right, I lined up by the 4:45 pacer?  Anyway, saying goodbye to Jocelyn brought up all sorts of emotions.  Scared, excited, nervous but, mostly scared!  I started to cry and kind of just freaked a little bit.  Once I found my place in line, I started to calm back down.  At this point, I decided to scan the people around me, and start making friends.  I found a few very nice people who were feeling the same nerves and emotions and that helped and put me at ease.  I then double checked that everything was in check, shoes were tied just right, watch was ready, etc.

So, the gun went off and I could hear the fire engine make its honking sound, to let us know the race had started.  We were at a stand still for at least 5-7 minutes, only moving a few feet at a time.  Then, around the 8 minute mark, since the race had started, people started to run and move faster. It was around 9 minutes past the starting time that I actually and officially crossed the start line.  

St. George Marathon 2013 - PART 1 (Couple days before the race & packet pick-up)

I am posting from the events of the marathon, beginning when my parents came into town. This will be a long journal entry of the marathon experience.  So, I'm going to break it up into parts.

 On Thursday morning, I got a knock at my door.  I opened the door to find Shirley LeBaron, Kris Lambson's Mom.  She said she had a delivery for me, from Kris.  Kris has been a dear, dear friend of mine for a little over a year now.  She was the Relief Society President in our ward and really made an impact on me!  She's really been there for me!  We became friends and really, she's the one of the couple people that helped ignite this marathon/running fire in me.  Last year, for the 2012 St. George Marathon, she was asking for volunteers to help with the first-aid station right before Mile Marker 25.  I thought it would be fun so, I signed up!  Little did I know how much that experience would change my life!  Being part of that and experiencing such a thrilling event really sparked something for me!  I saw runners of ALL shapes, sizes, ages, and walks of life doing the marathon.  I knew that I had NO EXCUSES and I could do a marathon!  That's what started it all for me.  So, I opened up the envelope that Shirley gave me.  Inside I found the necklace, pictured below! I cried and was shaking all over because I was so excited! This necklace means THE WORLD to me!!!!  I wear it with pride because I earned it!  It also means the world to me because it came from Kris!  It was such a thoughtful, kind, generous, and loving thing to do!

 I received another fun surprise that night, right before my parents arrive.  I was sitting on my couch, anxiously waiting for my parents to come when, I heard a knock at my door.  I opened the door and didn't see anyone there.  What I did see was a big bottle of my favorite flavor of gatorade.  It had the cutest ribbon and tie on it!!!!  So, I shut the door and was feeling good inside, that someone would think of me!  Then, another knock at the door came.  I opened the door and again, no one there.  I looked down and nothing was at the door step.  Then, I glanced at the door right before I shut it and noticed I was heart attacked and shoe attacked on my door!  It was SO CUTE and SO FUN!!!

 I teared up because it meant so much that some secret someone(s) were thinking of me like that and did such a fun thing for me!  Seriously, I have the best support group EVER, whether it's through fun acts like this, through phone calls, messages, emails, or whatever.  I AM SO BLESSED!!!!!!

My parents were arriving the night Thursday, October 3rd.  It was so fun for my parents to get here.  We had been looking forward to them coming all year long and the kids were so excited to have them come, as was I!  

The next morning (Friday, October 4th), I headed over to Amber Sheffield's to have her tape up my left knee.  My knee has been weak and painful, the last few long runs I've been on.  She also taped up the arch of my right foot.  A few weeks ago, I made the mistake of not tightening up my right shoe on a long run.  It ended up straining the arch of my foot.  After finishing that up, I headed back to my house, to pick up my parents and Corie.  I wanted to take them on a drive to see the route of the marathon.  We drove up the marathon route.  I only made it a little past 1/2 way and turned around because it was making me anxious.  So, then I drove them to the finish line.  As we got closer, the road was closed off, and we could see the finish line being set up!  I got SO EXCITED inside!!!!  I pictured myself running down that street and crossing the finish line!  I was also feeling quite nervous.  We then headed down to the outlet mall strip.  My Mom had told me that once I lost 60 lbs., she would buy me an outfit.  It turned out that with my brother, Matt, is getting married, and I needed a new outfit for his wedding.  My brother's colors are silver and eggplant purple.  So, we went into Dressbarn to get our outfits.  I tried on a very cute, classy black pencil skirt as well as a short button-sleeve cowlneck sweater in purple.  Then, I got a really pretty silver necklace to wear with it.  The exciting thing is I fit into a size 16 in the bottom and a 14 in the top.  That's SO AWESOME for me!!!!  When I started out I was a 22 top and 24 bottom.  I felt great and really pretty and beautiful!

Following the shopping trip, we stopped and grabbed pizza for lunch.  We got home right before Connor and Rylie got home from school.  Then I changed and headed off to go to the St. George Marathon Expo, to pick up my packet and also go to a clinic.  Arriving at the expo was so fun and I felt giddy, like it was Christmas Eve!  My first stop, going inside, was to go to the First Timer's Clinic.  It was specifically for those who were either doing their first marathon or running the course for the first time.  The room was pretty full.  They talked about the course, gave some interesting facts, and answered questions.  Jocelyn met up with me there.  After that, we headed into to pick up our packets and look at booths.  This is when it really started to feel real to me!  It was exciting to walk into the expo and see so many people, all there for the same reason!  I felt like I had a deer-in-the-headlights-look on my face!  I was in awe!!!!  So, first we went over to get our packets with our bib#'s, etc.  My bib# was 8508.  After that we went and checked out all the booths.  I picked up a really cool St. George Marathon t-shirt and a headband to wear on the day of the marathon.  I also purchased a 26.2 decal to put on my car!  Once we were done, we (Jocelyn, myself, and Amber) went out into the hall way to wait for Brian and the Sheffield's.  We wanted to get a picture with all of us in it.  It was fun to run into some people out there, that I didn't expect to see.  Once all of us were together, we headed outside and got a picture with all of us.

From there I headed back home.  It was around 3:30 when I left.  I got home and confirmed plans with my parents and Mike's parents.  We made plans to meet at The Pasta Factory at 5pm so that I could carb load and eat dinner early enough, so that I could get to bed on time.  I had some time before we left for dinner so, I took advantage of the time and got my clothing retrieval bag filled up with stuff I needed to take the next morning for the marathon.  I also typed up a check-off list so I would make sure I didn't forget anything.  I started to feel a little nervous, anxious, and scared at this point.  The day was going by WAY TOO FAST for me!  Soon, we left for dinner.  Mike was meeting us over there, because he had to be at work until the last minute.  He beat us over there and said it was swamped, which it was.  However, somehow my Father-in-Law wormed his way up to the hostess desk and got our name on the top of the list!  He's THE MAN!  Ha ha!  So, we ate our dinner, blah, blah, blah.  Nothing exciting!  We then headed home and I could really feel that the time was getting a lot closer.  I felt myself get a lot more serious and nervous and anxious.  7:00pm came fast,which was the time I set for myself to go to bed.  It ended up being closer to 8pm.  I had a few more things I needed to prepare, before I went to bed.  I also needed to make sure that I got a blessing from Mike and my Dad.  That was the most important thing.  So, I got in my pajamas, had everything laid out, had 5 alarms set so I would make sure to wake up.  I was ready so, it was time for my blessing.  The blessing was beautiful!  It was very comforting and I knew that my Heavenly Father was very much aware of my thoughts, feelings, and aware of how important this event was to me.  Following the blessing, I said goodnight to everyone one by one.  At this point, I was shaking more than normal, my stomach was in butterflies, and I was teary-eyed.  I felt much like I did, the night before I'm about to have a c-section.  I knew what was coming, it was just the unknown of how it was actually going to go down.  Before I hopped into bed, I said one more prayer for just myself.  I prayed for everything and anything I could think of.  Surprisingly enough, it didn't take much for me to fall asleep.  I was so grateful for that because, I was so concerned I wouldn't be able to sleep and then I'd be exhausted!

Yes, I Am a Runner!

I saw this and loved this!  I took me a long time to say "Yes, I am a runner." without cringing or laughing about it.  Even now, I still sometimes make jokes about it.  My reason is because I don't run as far or as long as a lot of runners do.  One of the most frustrating and even hurtful comments/reactions I have had with some people make me feel like I'm not an actual runner.  Usually it goes something like this: "Hey Laura, I heard you're running the marathon!"  "Yes", I reply!  Then they ask, "Oh my gosh, so you run the entire 26.2 miles?"  I then laugh and say, "Oh no, I run-walk-run-walk"  Then they get this almost defeated/disappointed look on their face and say, "Oh."  Or else they'll say, "Oh, well anyone can just walk the whole thing and be fine."  It makes me feel bad because I have worked and trained my butt off to get to where I am.  I don't consider myself less of a runner or copping out because I don't run the entire thing.  I know that I have improvement to make and mentally don't give myself enough credit with what I'm capable of.  I also know that my body has limits.  I think it's safe to say that a lot of runners out there aren't running with an extra 100+ lbs. on their body than they should have.  It's my own fault that I'm the weight and size I am.  I take full ownership for that.  Give me a break though!  At least I'm out there and trying to better my situation.  So no, I'm not running the entire marathon, straight through.  I do well the first chunk and can run a lot but, by the end it will come down to just keeping my body moving.  It'll be a lot of running .25 and walking .25, just to get my body to the finish line.  But, on a positive note, I can brag that I do have a pretty fast walk!  LOL!

Another Milestone Reached!

Today I hit a new milestone in my journey to lose weight and become healthier!  I can happily and excitedly say that I am officially down 61 lbs. since I started this journey!!!!

The Person Who Starts the Marathon is NOT the Same Person Who Finishes!

I LOVED this and had to post it!  It's interesting as what started out as a bucket-list item has become more than that and has taught me so many things.  I'm definitely NOT the same person I was when I started this journey.  Many things I like about myself and the person I've become.  However, there are also things that I don't like about myself.  Some of the things that need to change, after the marathon is done, is I need to put more focus on my family and my husband.

My family and husband have been the ones who have sacrificed through all of this.  Sometimes it hasn't been a big deal.  During the week, I'm always gone to the gym while everyone is asleep and no one knows I'm gone.  However, on Saturday's, we haven't really done much.  My Saturday's don't just start Saturday morning.  They start Friday, sometimes as early as 8:30pm, because I have to be up at 3:30am or 4:00am.  So, we haven't done any camping, or many weekend get-aways like we usually would because my answer is always, "No, because I have to run Saturday morning."  I knew and they all knew it was part of the process but, it gets old for them after a while, and even for me here and there.  When I get home from run, it's usually anywhere from 9:30am-11am.  When I do get home, I'm EXHAUSTED and sore often.  There are many times that adrenaline is running high and I'm chipper and moving around.  Once it runs out though, I'm wiped out!  I usually take a shower and then head to bed for a few hours to try and rest and get some of my energy.  But, then I get up and I'm stiff as a board and can barely walk.  

The house has been neglected.  I always clean here and there through the week but, not too much because I know that the destroying angel (my kids) will attack my house.  Saturday's have always been my deep-cleaning days because I love going to bed on Saturday nights with a clean house and wake up on Sunday morning to a clean house.  Well, that has not been the case for many months.  I just don't ever have the energy or motivation to do it on Saturday's so, I'm very embarrassed about the way my house looks.

I know that through all of the things I've neglected, I remember most why I did this and what and who I've become because of all of this.  I've become more healthy, I'm losing the weight that is holding me down.  I'm learning to commit and stick with something, and see it through, even if it's the hardest thing I've ever done.  I'm learning about myself and what areas I need to really improve.  I still have a long ways to go on improving myself.  Mentally, I am very weak, and need to be SO MUCH stronger.  That is a process that will go on forever.  Physically, I've gone so far but, nowhere as far as I still have yet to go.  I STILL need to lose another 80-100 lbs. to get to my goal weight.  I don't think about that often because I look at how hard I've worked to lose the 57 lbs. I've lost so far.  To think I have 80-100 lbs. more is EXTREMELY overwhelming to me!  I was hoping and thought I'd for sure lose 10 lbs. a month, which would've put me at nearly 100 lbs. weight loss right now!  Can you imagine?  I think my running performance would be SO MUCH better if I didn't have as much weight on me as I do. Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case.  It's frustrating as HECK and makes me cry if I think about it too much.  So, I have to remember where I've been, how far I've come, and be happy with at least that much.  Spiritually, I've realized how much I rely on my Heavenly Father!  I can't even begin to tell you how many times I catch myself praying to Heavenly Father during my long runs.  Sometimes I want to lay down on the road and just cry but, that little voice inside me just tells me to keep moving.  I pray A LOT!!!  None of this has been possibly without the help of my Heavenly Father!